4 Working Parent Issuesand How to Deal With Each - The Muse

4 Working Parent Issuesand How to Deal With Each - The Muse4 Working Parent Issues- and How to Deal With EachWorking moms and dads know juggling parenting and professional responsibilities is a delicate balancing act on the best days. Throw in a few complicated but inevitable family emergencies and it becomes even trickier.For example, if I had a dime for every time one of my sons came down with a stomach virus while I was working on a tight deadline, I could retire right now. And why do parent-teacher conferences and holiday concerts just happen to be scheduled between 10 AM and 1 PM during the busiest week of the year?Of course, you want to do a great job as both a parent and an employee, but managing it all can leave you feeling like youre straddling a great divide. And thats why Im sharing notlage only my own best advice (learned on the job), but also top strategies from several experts. For starters, one of the fruchtwein important factors in being a working parent is to be proa ctive, says Sarah Connors, principal at WinterWyman, a talent acquisition firm. Talk to your boss ahead of time on what the best practices are if you have to be out of the office with a sick child, she suggests. Whom do you notify, and is a voicemail, text, or email okay?Heres mora advice on how to navigate four common situations1. Your Childs Sick and Youre Not Going to Be in the OfficeWhether your child wakes up under the weather or you get that dreaded call from the school nurse midday, you may have no other option but to stay home or leave the office. Amber Rosenberg- a professional life, career, and executive coach at Pacific Life Coach- says being transparent is key.State that you understand its not ideal and youre disappointed that you cant be there for the big meeting or presentation or whatever it is that youre missing, she advises. And, go to your manager with solutions, not problems. Figure out who will step in, how you can still be available and present, and what work ne eds to be pushed back or delegated.With the assistance of technology, Ive been able to participate in many meetings while fulfilling my mom/nurse duties from home. While its not the same as being in the office, its better than missing a crucial update or letting the team down.2. Its Your Childs Concert/Play/Birthday and Youre Going to Miss ItIn this situation, accept that youll feel torn, says Rosenberg- and thats OK.Youre going to have guilt as a working parent, the key is managing it and keeping it in check. Bring it out of the shadows and notice it when it comes up but do something before you go down that spiral, she says. Come up with a more empowering thought. Instead of feeling guilty, think about how youre a role model for your child. Read research that shows real benefits for children of parents who work.If you can, find ways to still be involved in the event, even from your office- whether its having a relative send videos or taking a quick break to give your child a call. Those little doses could be just what you need to keep your spirit up. I recently missed my sons piano recital and it broke my heart. But, I was able to catch the whole performance via FaceTime and congratulate my mini Mozart soon after he took his final bow. 3. You Have a Family Emergency Minutes Before a PresentationRosenberg says she often encounters people who are unfamiliar with the hurdles working parents face. So, she suggests, its important to educate them proactively. Im a big believer in transparency from the get-go, she explains. You can say, During these hours I put my kids to bed or pick up my kids from childcare, but I will make up those hours. Andthings are bound to happen and there may be times when I have to leave very quickly. Engage them on how you should best work on that together. With any emergency, in-the-moment communication is crucial- where youre going and how long youll be gone. And if possible, be available or online while youre out.Be sure to communicate during that time away, too, Connors says. Everyone needs time out of the office and sometimes its unexpected. The key is for your boss and team to know when and how youre accessible, what youre working on, and what you need help covering, she adds. If they dont hear from you at all then that seems like youre less engaged and they wont know what might be falling through the cracks.4. Your Childs Upset or in Trouble But You Cant LeaveTwo years ago, I was at my office, a 90-minute commute away from my home, when I received a text from my son Do you have a few minutes to talk? Because this was out of character, I knew it probably wasnt good news. When I called him, he was very upset about an incident involving a teacher and a student in one of his classes. What if Im called to the principals office as a witness? What if the police get involved? His list of concerns grew, and while I wanted to comfort him, I knew the clock was ticking back at my desk. I assured him that wed figure it al l out together, but first I needed to finish my work. The quicker I could do that, the faster I could return home to discuss the whole situation in person. It wasnt a perfect solution, but it allowed us both to move forward until we were together and had more time to talk.Whether your child calls you crying or you receive a call from the school principal about an upsetting incident, it can be hard to focus on work. If leaving isnt an option, its important and helpful to take a few moments for yourself rather than attempting to bulldoze through it, advises Rosenberg. The more you try not to think about it, the more you will, so take some time before going back to work, she says.She suggests giving yourself a time limit to process your emotions before returning to your desk and taking long, slow breaths to establish a sense of calm.Think, Im going to feel this for five minutes, and then return to your desk. You may find that when you get back into it, your work is a good distraction, she says. Reassure yourself that the problem will get solved, even if you cant resolve it in the moment.Dealing with family emergencies while working isnt fun or easy, but having strategies in place can at least minimize the stress- and ensure youre there for your child and your jobs taken care of. Even when Im immersed in a project, I always have an ear out for a call from one of my kids or the school nurse. In fact, knowing that a crisis can arise, a carpool can collapse, and an illness may strike at any moment inspires me to be as productive and proactive as possible.